If i come over, it means nothing
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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