Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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