Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
