Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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