No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My vagina is very pro this idea
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
