So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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