I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
