i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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