i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
