Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
