He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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