i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
