Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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