They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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