hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
