His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
