I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
