Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
