Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
