I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I need moral support for this bender
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
