I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
