so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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