I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
