You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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