At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
