it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
