you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
