I wanna bring you to show and tell
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
