Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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