my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
