i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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