dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
