I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm at about main and main street
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
