she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
no, he came in my armpit
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
