and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
