Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
