ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
