Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
