Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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