so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
