My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
