Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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