Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
