No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
