SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
