I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Dicks are not precious.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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