I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
