I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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