So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he fucked my hip out of place.
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Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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