She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
