I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
