Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
