She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
