Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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