I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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