I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Randomize