If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
