My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
