we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
