when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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