East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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