i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
