Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
